WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he was CRYING into my vagina
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
