We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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