Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
