nut hugger
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
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