You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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