I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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