Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
