help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
