I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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