she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
