He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
