I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
