They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
