Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
