I feel like abortions should bother me more
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She bit a glass in half.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
