just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
pray to the hookup gods
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
