I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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