so explain again why im purple
no
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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