Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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