If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
