I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
