we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
