he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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