If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
