I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
