Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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