she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
