Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
too bad you live with your parents still
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
