"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
