I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
where are my eyebrows?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
