I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
never play flip cup with pint glasses
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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