my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We left the knife in your bed.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
