Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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