i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize