you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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