i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
