Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
