I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
