that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just pee around me
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
