i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
