the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
