The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize