I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I haven't been this sober since birth.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize