So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
