chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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