We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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