shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize