let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
