Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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