i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
pray to the hookup gods
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize