Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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