You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Randomize