K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize