TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
