the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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