Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize