dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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