There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
