So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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