I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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