Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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