I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize