Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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