we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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