ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize