The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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