Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
