I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Duck Duck Cougar?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
