just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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