Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
