who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
