I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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