you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
