where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
