white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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