I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
